Tuesday Morning Conversation

The following is an actual conversation.

10:27:12 AM Klagon: wassup beeyotch
10:27:30 AM Hambone: yo yo
10:27:47 AM Hambone: any CJC discussions?
10:27:56 AM Klagon: Nothing. Total radio silence
10:28:05 AM Klagon: F however might have seen the light.
10:28:12 AM Hambone: NICE
10:28:23 AM Hambone: now that we've got a band of idiots
10:29:18 AM Hambone: would he be in for the full fri - mon tour?
10:29:30 AM Klagon: dunno.. I forget what his obligations are
10:29:45 AM Klagon: I'm really excited about happy hour in the desert, if we can pull that off
10:29:55 AM Hambone: that would be cool
10:29:59 AM Klagon: I hope its not impossible or inadvisable.
10:30:05 AM Hambone: just have to make sure we don't get eaten by bats
10:30:12 AM Hambone: i don't know how dangerous it is out there
10:30:13 AM Klagon: I don't want that either
10:30:32 AM Hambone: it's been 100 degrees the last couple of weeks
10:30:33 AM Klagon: I think its a long gauntlet of bats and gila monsters
10:30:45 AM Klagon: and zombies
10:30:51 AM Klagon: with pointed sticks
10:30:56 AM Hambone: i love killin zombies
10:31:05 AM Klagon: Fuckin' a right bubba.
10:31:22 AM Klagon: I got me a killin' stick right here, in case some shit jumps off in Hicksville.
10:31:37 AM Hambone: can never be too safe
10:31:39 AM Klagon: You never know when there's gonna be a zombie revolution
10:31:48 AM Klagon: Fuckin' zombies.
10:31:59 AM Klagon: unpredictable, because they're already dead.
10:32:19 AM Hambone: so given the four member party are we upgrading the digs?
10:32:24 AM Klagon: Perhaps.
10:33:53 AM Klagon: I need more gigs.
10:34:02 AM Klagon: I have two .. at the END of october.
10:34:04 AM Hambone: or handjob gigs
10:34:05 AM Klagon: does me no good
10:34:12 AM Klagon: still funny
10:34:14 AM Hambone: can you get apaid in advance?
10:34:29 AM Hambone: tell them you're a typical smackhead musician and you need your fix
10:34:35 AM Klagon: two good ones too.. would probably amount to about $150.
10:34:35 AM Hambone: Charlie Parker style
10:34:38 AM Klagon: nice
10:35:00 AM Klagon: I would gladly take 150 today so I can go shoot up, then maybe I won't make the gig...
10:35:34 AM Hambone: who wouldnt help you out?
10:35:54 AM Klagon: its a perfectly reasonable request
10:36:22 AM Hambone: did you watch that new hbo show the other night?
10:36:32 AM Klagon: tell me you love me?
10:36:35 AM Klagon: I did not
10:36:36 AM Hambone: yeah
10:36:37 AM Klagon: boobs
10:36:38 AM Klagon: ?
10:36:44 AM Hambone: holy shitbags
10:36:46 AM Hambone: boobs
10:36:48 AM Hambone: nuts
10:36:50 AM Hambone: cocks
10:36:51 AM Klagon: nuts
10:36:51 AM Klagon: ?
10:36:55 AM Klagon: huh?
10:36:56 AM Hambone: one guy pops off on screen
10:37:00 AM Hambone: it's really fucked up
10:37:06 AM Hambone: you have to watch it
10:37:18 AM Hambone: they show a woman jerking his shit on camera and then he pops
10:37:21 AM Klagon: any vag?
10:37:32 AM Hambone: you didn't see a big angry purple penis
10:37:34 AM Klagon: wow.
10:37:38 AM Hambone: but she was working him pretty hard
10:37:46 AM Hambone: and then the spoo went flying into the air
10:37:49 AM Klagon: Spoo?
10:37:54 AM Hambone: there was vag but no taint
10:37:58 AM Hambone: no gash
10:38:04 AM Klagon: just bush?
10:38:07 AM Hambone: no roast beef
10:38:09 AM Klagon: shaved?
10:38:09 AM Hambone: yeah
10:38:17 AM Hambone: the young chick is pretty cute
10:38:20 AM Klagon: nice
10:38:24 AM Hambone: she gets fucked like a choir boy
10:38:31 AM Hambone: but the older people not so much
10:38:34 AM Klagon: whoa.
10:38:45 AM Hambone: it's pretty insane
10:38:50 AM Hambone: and kinda disturbing
10:38:52 AM Klagon: I'm all over that shit
10:38:54 AM Hambone: the whole tone is weird
10:39:00 AM Klagon: looks that way.
10:39:06 AM Klagon: how are they going to keep that up?>
10:39:08 AM Hambone: because everyone's relationship is messed up
10:39:10 AM Hambone: i dunno
10:39:10 AM Klagon: no pun intended
10:39:18 AM Hambone: they managed to show all the chicks tits in the pilot
10:39:36 AM Hambone: except the old psychologist lady's
10:39:40 AM Klagon: by the end of the season its going to be a fucking blowjob and bukakke festival
10:39:52 AM Klagon: So thatll be fun
10:39:54 AM Hambone: it's pretty creepy
10:40:04 AM Klagon: All that fuckin' and its still creepy?
10:40:06 AM Klagon: I love HBO
10:40:21 AM Klagon: its there hate-fucking?
10:40:25 AM Klagon: that's always fun
10:40:27 AM Klagon: and funny
10:40:43 AM Hambone: the first scene with the young chick is pretty good
10:40:47 AM Hambone: shes got a nice bod
10:41:27 AM Hambone: but she starts riding him and his sack is staring at you like Marty Feldman
10:41:39 AM Hambone: for a good couple of minutes
10:41:43 AM Hambone: maybe not minutes
10:41:47 AM Klagon: That settles it, I am referring to my sack as "My Feldman" from now on.
10:41:54 AM Hambone: but it felt like forever
10:42:02 AM Hambone: hehe
10:42:10 AM Klagon: any time some guy's feldman is looking at you, its like time stops
10:42:12 AM Hambone: "oh, you kicked me in the Feldman"
10:42:18 AM Hambone: yeah exactly
10:42:20 AM Klagon: oooohhhhh... right in the feldman
10:42:22 AM Klagon: !
10:42:30 AM Hambone: but she gets worked pretty good
10:42:34 AM Hambone: but then it just gets weird
10:42:39 AM Klagon: lower case, 'cause its a regular noun now
10:42:48 AM Klagon: because he punches her in the back of the head?
10:42:49 AM Hambone: a guy jerking off in bed when his wife goes in the shower
10:42:54 AM Hambone: no
10:42:58 AM Hambone: that would have been nice
10:43:01 AM Klagon: no donkey punch?
10:43:03 AM Klagon: fuck that show
10:43:04 AM Hambone: the first broadcast donkey punch
10:43:13 AM Klagon: There's our hook
10:43:15 AM Hambone: hbo breaking ground
10:43:21 AM Hambone: just tivo it
10:43:25 AM Klagon: a left hook, right to the back of the head
10:46:35 AM Hambone: you wanna share this blog?
10:46:41 AM Hambone: do you feel like writing when you shit?
10:46:49 AM Hambone: thetoiletpapers.blogspot.com
10:50:26 AM Hambone: theres some really dumb stuff up there
10:50:31 AM Hambone: which should be deleted
10:50:33 AM Hambone: i get bored
10:50:34 AM Klagon: tell me about it
10:50:38 AM Klagon: I just read it all
10:50:50 AM Hambone: man
10:50:56 AM Hambone: don't have to go for the throat like that
10:51:06 AM Klagon: you should just copy and paste our chats each day
10:51:15 AM Klagon: so it would read:
10:51:20 AM Klagon: ME: yoyoyoyo
10:51:26 AM Klagon: you: yoyoyoyoyo
10:51:31 AM Klagon: me: see you tomorrow
10:51:38 AM Klagon: you: brb, l8r
10:51:45 AM Klagon: donkey punch
10:51:49 AM Klagon: feldman
10:51:51 AM Hambone: hehe
10:52:23 AM Klagon: how do I post?
10:52:37 AM Klagon: Joe Zawinul died this morning
10:53:01 AM Hambone: yeah I saw your email
10:53:08 AM Klagon: bummer
10:53:13 AM Klagon: we should bust out the wah wah
10:53:50 AM Hambone: yeah yeah
10:53:52 AM Hambone: no idea when
10:53:58 AM Hambone: but a good idea
10:55:13 AM Hambone: actually, I can add you as an author
10:55:40 AM Hambone: just sent an invite to your gmail
11:01:36 AM Klagon: Nice.. done. Greeting public
11:04:41 AM Hambone: nice
11:04:44 AM Hambone: post it bitches
11:04:49 AM Hambone: are you on the crapper?
11:04:53 AM Hambone: otherwise you can't post
11:05:00 AM Hambone: have to be shitting or attempting a shit
11:05:10 AM Klagon: How about stifling a shit.
11:05:19 AM Hambone: that might work