Time, the Insatiable Beast ... Ruining Hunter's Prose ... Spaceboobs

The following is an actual conversation:

10:00:06 AM Hambone: one week
10:00:14 AM Hambone: can you believe that shit
10:00:17 AM Klagon: No
10:00:19 AM Klagon: I cannot
10:00:23 AM Hambone: it seemed like such a far off dream
10:00:27 AM Hambone: and now it's here
10:00:34 AM Klagon: Sweet dream from Heaven
10:00:38 AM Hambone: and in a drunken flash, it will be gone again
10:00:46 AM Hambone: damn you, time!
10:00:51 AM Hambone: why do you curse me?
10:01:16 AM Klagon: Fucking time.
10:01:42 AM Klagon: I need to get a handle on that shit. Start bending it to MY will, rather than always being under its thumb.
10:02:19 AM Hambone: the ability to bend time would come in very handy
10:02:28 AM Hambone: stopping time would be phenominal
10:02:36 AM Hambone: imagine the havoc you could cause
10:02:45 AM Hambone: it's an adam sandler movie
10:02:47 AM Hambone: but still

…

12:53:21 PM Hambone: the audiobook reading of F&L is DREADFUL
12:53:33 PM Klagon: Who is responsible?
12:53:38 PM Hambone: dont know who the fuck cast that guy but they should be fired from a cannon into hell
12:53:50 PM Klagon: Who?
12:53:50 PM Hambone: http://www.audible.com/adbl/site/enSearch/searchResults.jsp?D=Fear+and+Loathing&Ntt=Hunter+S.+Thompson&Dx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&Ntk=S_Author_Search&Ntx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&y=0&N=0&x=0&BV_UseBVCookie=Yes <http://www.audible.com/adbl/site/enSearch/searchResults.jsp?D=Fear+and+Loathing&amp;Ntt=Hunter+S.+Thompson&amp;Dx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&amp;Ntk=S_Author_Search&amp;Ntx=mode%2bmatchallpartial&amp;y=0&amp;N=0&amp;x=0&amp;BV_UseBVCookie=Yes>
12:54:08 PM Klagon: Who the fuck is Ron McLarty?
12:54:14 PM Hambone: so disappointing
12:54:16 PM Klagon: LIke Christopher walken wouldn't have done it?
12:54:17 PM Hambone: some chump
12:54:24 PM Hambone: could you imagine?
12:54:33 PM Klagon: I'm imagining right now
12:54:35 PM Klagon: Its great
12:54:38 PM Klagon: by the way
12:54:55 PM Klagon: What about Campbell Scott reading the Rum Diary?
12:55:02 PM Hambone: it's ok
12:55:05 PM Hambone: a little stiff
12:55:28 PM Klagon: Yeah... he's like that. Aren't you kind of a fan though>
12:55:29 PM Klagon: ?
12:55:52 PM Hambone: he's good
12:55:56 PM Hambone: but not his genre
12:56:20 PM Klagon: This fucking guy sounds like Kasey Kasem
12:56:24 PM Klagon: Its horrible.
12:56:28 PM Klagon: Jesus.
12:56:32 PM Klagon: This is so bad.
12:56:51 PM Klagon: Oh my fucking God. My ears. They will never forgive me.
12:57:18 PM Klagon: Wouldn't they just buzz in after "we were just outside of" <BZZZZ> "
thank you, we'll call you.
12:57:42 PM Hambone: someone greenlighted this
12:57:57 PM Klagon: That's the guy I want to dickslap.
12:57:58 PM Hambone: someone heard it said, "this is ok for an HST book"
12:58:09 PM Klagon: Who is HST anyway?
12:58:17 PM Klagon: Never mind, lets just put it out
12:58:31 PM Hambone: what the fuck is ether?
12:58:34 PM Hambone: doesn't matter
12:58:49 PM Klagon: Lets see what's on the Oprah list
12:59:35 PM Klagon: Is that asparagus?

…

2:57:33 PM Hambone: we should write some kind of sci fi story
2:57:51 PM Klagon: then turn it into a cash-flush religion?
2:58:02 PM Hambone: well
2:58:12 PM Hambone: that's a good idea I hadn't considered
2:58:23 PM Klagon: Beats workin'
2:58:44 PM Hambone: i was thinking more of a mega-franchise with merchandising, multiple sequels, video games, extended universe novels
2:58:46 PM Hambone: cartoons
2:58:49 PM Hambone: comics
2:59:03 PM Hambone: people in costumes walking around conventions
2:59:09 PM Hambone: we should do that
2:59:35 PM Klagon: Excellent idea. From what I've read, they don't even have to be very good
2:59:43 PM Hambone: exactly!
2:59:51 PM Hambone: just slap some generic story arc
2:59:55 PM Hambone: boogie nights in space
3:00:02 PM Hambone: get some fancy effects
3:00:13 PM Hambone: get john williams to score it
3:00:16 PM Hambone: and ZANG!
3:00:18 PM Klagon: nice
3:00:22 PM Hambone: instant millions
3:00:25 PM Klagon: ZANG! indeed
3:00:25 PM Hambone: space porn?
3:00:28 PM Klagon: nice
3:00:37 PM Klagon: might as well see some free titties while we're at it
3:00:43 PM Hambone: Emanuelle in Space kinda covered that
3:00:49 PM Hambone: oh ShowTime
3:00:54 PM Hambone: Time to Show some titties
3:00:55 PM Klagon: It never really gets old
3:01:09 PM Klagon: The kids, they still like tits
3:01:14 PM Hambone: especially when Krista Allen is the Whore Du Jour
3:01:24 PM Klagon: mmmm excellent rack
3:01:32 PM Hambone: magnificent
3:01:49 PM Hambone: and a quarter bouncing ass
3:01:51 PM Hambone: at least
3:02:02 PM Hambone: 12 years ago when she did that seminal series
3:04:08 PM Hambone: they're making a GI Joe movie
3:06:53 PM Klagon: really. that's going to suck
3:07:52 PM Hambone: yeah it is
3:16:09 PM Klagon: Unless Krista Allen is in it.
3:16:24 PM Hambone: i'd go see that
3:16:32 PM Hambone: who was the GI Joe chick? Scarlett?
3:16:44 PM Hambone: do I actually remember that?
3:16:51 PM Hambone: I'm a loser
3:17:04 PM Klagon: dunno. I was too old to watch that
3:17:17 PM Klagon: and I objected to the new GI Joe on principle
3:17:19 PM Hambone: bullshit
3:17:48 PM Hambone: you're never too old to watch armies war against each other seemingly forever without a single person getting shot or dying
3:18:11 PM Hambone: think of all the wasted ammo and not a drop of blood
3:18:15 PM Hambone: just like the A Team