Who's Got It Better? The Dog v. Baby Debate

Baby:
Sleep all day, night.
Others clean poo, pee.
When hungry only need to yell equivalent of, "where the titties at" and titties appear. Big titties, too.
Possess thumbs, albeit nonfunctioning.

Dog:
Sleep all day, night.
Lack of thumbs means reliance on others to go potty, but still - no cleaning.
Food generally available on a regular schedule.
Can lick own genitals at will.

Verdict:
Dead heat in both food and sleep competitions. Titties/Nuts debate boils down to a "you say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to", win-win situation, and therefore no advantage.

I guess you'd have to give it to babies based solely on the existence and hedged value of thumbs.